I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
