ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just had sex bonerless
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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