Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
