he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
