I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I had to cum in my sink.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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