your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
