just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
