I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
