I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
