I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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