Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's blow job season.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
