yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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