btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i've created a new STD.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
