You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Im part way to drunk.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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