the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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