Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY