only if we run a train.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...