That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?