I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt