so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.