just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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