Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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