not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize