Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
