At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
