I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
