I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize