chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
