so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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