you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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