What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
