maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
