My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Couch. On fire.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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