I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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