How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
