on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Bring me that man meat
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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