Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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