Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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