Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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