all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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