what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
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Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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