woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
