come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
