dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
