Your face is a jimmy john
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
