I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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