You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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