Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
