is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
