I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
