Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
