It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
