Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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