oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
