Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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