he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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