did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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