i was born a porn star she said
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
