I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
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all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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