Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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