I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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