dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
