The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
