Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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