some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
