he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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